Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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