I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
How's work?
Spinning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
