I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need to calm my uterus...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize