I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
