We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize