yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
