you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
