Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
