My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
