All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize