Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
