the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize