we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
