i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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