Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
