so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize