His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
