Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
