They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
