why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
There are leaves in my underwear?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
