I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
