Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
