all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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