I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
