oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
