oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
