The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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