no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
