a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
