I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
