I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
