i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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