He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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