I'm eating all of the evidence.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
