he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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