wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
