His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
