Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
