arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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