He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
did you just send me my own nude
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
