Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
