Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
