I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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