maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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