what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
