oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
