I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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