That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
