I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
