come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
