I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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