you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
