we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
