I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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