Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize