Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
