Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
