every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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