sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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