i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
