I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
