i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
