She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
