girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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