i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
