If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
