nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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