Christians are straight up FREAKS
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
